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Random Darwin Awards
Well-Trained
2002 Darwin Award Nominee(21 March 2002, Kentucky) In his youth, the man had whiled away many an
afternoon hopping trains and riding them fifteen or twenty yards down
the rails before leaping back off. But by the time he was twenty years
old, he had apparently lost the knack. While demonstrating the trick to
friends, our hero tried to hop a southbound train, but failed to notice
the simultaneous approach of a northbound train, and was struck and
killed.
2006 Honorable Mention
(2006, England) Two people, 17 and 20, imitated Darth Vader and made
light sabres from fluorescent light tubes. That’s right, they opened up
fluoresceent tubes, poured gasoline inside, and lit the end… As one can
imagine, a Star Wars sized explosion was not far behind. Both participants
survived to confess to their creative, but stupid, filmed reenactment.Darwin notes, "17 is legal driving age. Old enough to pump gas is old
enough to know better. For more information, consult the Rules and read the discussion
in the Philosophy Forum."
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Sexist Monkees
This is totally wierd. Monkees that are sexists.
Monkey misery for Kenyan women villagers
By Juliet Njeri
BBC News, Nachu, central Kenya
A troop of vervet monkeys is giving Kenyan villagers long days and sleepless nights, destroying crops and causing a food crisis.
Earlier this month, local MP Paul Muite urged the Kenyan Wildlife Service to help contain their aggressive behaviour.
But Mr Muite caused laughter when he told parliament that the monkeys had taken to harassing and mocking women in a village.
But this is exactly what the women in the village of Nachu, just south-west of Kikuyu, are complaining about.
Sexual harassment
They estimate there are close to 300 monkeys invading
the farms at dawn. They eat the village’s maize, potatoes, beans and
other crops.And because women are primarily responsible for the
farms, they have borne the brunt of the problem, as they try to guard
their crops.hey say the monkeys are more afraid of young men than
women and children, and the bolder ones throw stones and chase the
women from their farms.Nachu’s women have tried wearing their husbands’ clothes
in an attempt to trick the monkeys into thinking they are men – but
this has failed, they say."When we come to chase the monkeys away, we are dressed
in trousers and hats, so that we look like men," resident Lucy Njeri
told the BBC News website"But the monkeys can tell the difference and they don’t
run away from us and point at our breasts. They just ignore us and
continue to steal the crops."In addition to stealing their crops, the monkeys also make sexually explicit gestures at the women, they claim.
"The monkeys grab their breasts, and gesture at us while
pointing at their private parts. We are afraid that they will sexually
harass us," said Mrs Njeri.The Kenyan Wildlife Service told the BBC that it was not
unusual for monkeys to harass women and be less afraid of them than
men, but they had not heard of monkeys in Kenya making sexually
explicit gestures as a form of communication to humans.The predominantly farming community is now having to receive famine relief food.
The residents report that the monkeys have killed
livestock and guard dogs, which has also left the villagers living in
fear, especially for the safety of their babies and children.All the villagers’ attempts to control the monkeys have
failed – the monkeys evade traps, have lookouts to warn the others of
impending attacks and snub poisoned food put out by the residents."The troop has scouts which keep a lookout from a
vantage point, and when they see us coming, they give warning signals
to the ones in the farms to get away," said another area resident,
Jacinta Wandaga.
‘Monkey squad’
The town has been warned by the Kenya Wildlife Service not to harm or kill any of the monkeys, as it is a criminal offence.
Running out of options, residents are harvesting their crops early in an attempt to salvage what they can of this year’s crop.
Unfortunately, this only invites the monkeys to break into their homes and steal the harvested crops out of their granaries.
Even the formation of a "monkey squad" to keep track of the monkeys’ movements and keep them out has failed.
The area is simply too large for the few volunteers to cover, they say.
Some residents have lost hope and abandoned their homes
and farms, but those who have stayed behind, like 80-year-old James
Ndungu, are making a desperate plea for assistance."For God’s sake, the government should take pity on us
and move these monkeys away because we do not want to abandon our
farms," he said."I beg you, please come and take these animals away from here so that we can farm in peace."
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Woman sets fire to ex-husband’s penis
Here is a good reason not to piss off you ex, if you live in the same place.
Woman sets fire to ex-husband’s penis
MOSCOW (Reuters) – A woman set fire to her ex-husband’s penis as he
sat naked watching television and drinking vodka, Moscow police said
Wednesday.
Asked if the man would make a full recovery, a police spokeswoman said it was "difficult to predict."
The attack climaxed three years of acrimonious enforced
co-habitation. The couple divorced three years ago but continued to
share a small flat, something common in Russia where property costs are
very high.
"It was monstrously painful," the wounded ex-husband told Tvoi Den
newspaper. "I was burning like a torch. I don’t know what I did to
deserve this."
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</script
Killer Badgers in Iraq
Maybe we can send in Dhimmi Carter with his killer rabbit and take out all of the terrorists also.
This has got to be the funniest story of the day, killer badgers and snake eggs, and killer squirrels. This is just too funny to not post about.
The latest Iraqi conspiracy theory: Killer British badgers
….
The result? Many residents of the southern city of Basra have convinced themselves that the British Army has loosed savage cattle-eating badgers onto its unsuspecting populace as a final gesture of ill intent before it departs the city later this summer.
Throw in, for good measure, the fervent belief that British soldiers have planted snake eggs in waterways and unleashed bomb-sniffing dogs purposefully infected with rabies.
All three stories have been manufactured by Iraq’s tireless rumor mill, the only machine here seemingly capable of functioning day and night without need of electricity or generators.
Iran has gotten in on the act as well, claiming that Western forces have been fitting Iraqi squirrels with miniaturized surveillance devices and sending them scurrying across the border to spy.
"In recent weeks, intelligence operatives have arrested 14 squirrels within Iran’s borders," IRNA, the Iranian state-sponsored news agency, reported. "The squirrels were carrying spy gear of foreign agencies, and were stopped before they could act, thanks to the alertness of our intelligence services."
Almost forgot to give the H/T to the Jawa Report
Why doesn’t this happen in Belle Vegas
This is very interesting, why doesn’t this ever happen around here.
Nude blonde, gold stilettos and a Ferrari..
BERLIN (Reuters) – A mysterious blonde paid a visit to a petrol station shop in the small eastern German town of Doemitz on Sunday — wearing nothing but a pair of golden stilettos and a thin gold bracelet.
The tall, slender woman strolled into the shop in the town of Doemitz on the warm afternoon and bought cigarettes, petrol station employee Ines Swoboda told Reuters on Monday.
"I wasn’t surprised because she’s come in naked before — she’s a very nice woman," Swoboda said, adding none of the other customers were bothered. The woman could have faced charges of creating a public disturbance if anyone had complained.
A quick-witted customer did, however, snap pictures of the woman believed to be about 30 years old as she walked back to a waiting Ferrari and climbed into the passenger seat. Several of those photos appeared in the German media on Monday.
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Is this the Twilight Zone
I got this from a bulliten on Myspace. This is just interesting. I can not believe that people actually believe this crap.
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Don’t mess with Mother Nature
I guess Mother Nature was getting back at Daytona Beach because of the Daytona 500 or something, but a huge wave knocked out the fireworks display there.
Huge Wave Hits Daytona Beach Fireworks Barge, Cancels Show
A huge wave in Daytona Beach, Fla., crashed over a fireworks barge Wednesday night, forcing officials to cancel the city’s annual Fourth of July show.
Officials said the wave hit the barge before 9 p.m. and washed more than half of the pyrotechnics off the vessel and into the water.
The barge was located in front of Ocean Walk in Daytona Beach when the mortar display was hit by the wave.
A crowd of people along AIA were waiting for the display before it was canceled.
The fireworks show will take place on Saturday, Local 6 reported.
Also, Flagler Beach canceled its festivities because of strong winds.
Watch Local 6 News for more on this story.
Biting Dolphins
Almost everyone thinks of dolphins as sweet and cuddly fish like Flipper. But they are wild animals and are very good predators. So this doesn’t really surprise me that they are biting people in places where they are fed often. Feeding the dolphins interferes with thier natural predatory instincts and makes them come closer to people and makes them more aggressive when around people. All they are doing is looking for food and if someone doesn’t feed themn they get more aggressive and strike out to people. Dolphins are smart and very friendly animals, but don;t mess with them and feed them, it is illegal and also makes them more agressive towards people.
Marine Officials Warn Of Biting Dolphins
Marine researchers are warning about a growing number of dolphin bite cases in Sarasota County, according to a Local 6 News report.
Florida experts said wild dolphins are becoming more aggressive because boaters are feeding them.
"It seems reasonable to understand why you wouldn’t feed a bear or somethig more dangerous appearing but these are wild animals," dolphin researcher Jason Allen said. "They are wild animals with lots of sharp teeth."
Officials said a dolphin recently bit a woman from Lakeland this month when she tried to pet it.
It is illegal to feed, harass, swim with or follow wild dolphins. Violators face misdemeanor charges for committing the crimes.
Watch Local 6 News for more on this story.
What will they think up next
Apple is all upset over a new sex toy that the ad looks familiar to the iPod ads.
Apple v Ann Summers in iGasm spat
Ann Summers attract’s Apple’s ire for iGasm sex toy advertising
High street adult retailer Ann Summers has landed itself in a heap of trouble with Apple.
The retail chain has been promoting a £30 sex toy called the iGasm, a device which connects to any music player and offers users an erotic vibrating treat in time to the beat.
A News of the World report claims Apple is furious about Ann Summer’s promotion of the device, and is demanding all posters for the gadget be taken down, under threat of court action.
The neon-pink posters depict an underwear-clad female silhouette holding an oval white device with two cables – one connected to a pair of white headphones, the other heading down toward the female’s knickers.
The sales pitch urges music fans to: "Go at it hard and fast with a pounding drum ‘n’ bass track or chill with an ambient classic."
Apple is claiming the ad to be an abuse of the silhouette-based images it uses in its own advertising.
Ann Summers hasn’t bowed to Apple’s threats, the report explains.
The Word’s smallest dog
This could be in a category on it’s own. It is both wierd and funny at the smae time. So I put this in with the Funny Friday category, also along with the wierd.
It is also Open Trackback Friday. Or I should just say Open Trackback Weekend. I always post the open trackback post so late in the day.
4-inch Lake County Chihuahua may be world’s smallest dog
Ramsey Campbell | Sentinel Staff Writer
Posted April 27, 2007LEESBURG — Meet tiny Dancer, a rust-colored, long-haired Chihuahua that may just be the world’s smallest dog, weighing 18 ounces and standing not much more than 4 inches tall.
Dancer’s owner, Jenny Gomes, said the diminutive Lake County canine may be on his way to being named the world’s smallest living dog by Guinness World Records.
And Dancer may have a legitimate claim to the title. The last smallest dog — measured by height — was Danka Kordak of Slovakia, which stood 5.4 inches high, according to Guinness officials.
But that long-haired Chihuahua died. And Gomes said her Dancer is slightly smaller at 4.1 inches, from foot to the top of the shoulder.
Born June 8, Dancer can’t officially claim the title until he is 1 year old.
"Then we’re planning to throw him a birthday party, measure him officially and get him into the Guinness records as the smallest-living dog," Gomes said.
She said a shorter candidate could emerge but that’s unlikely.
Guinness officials require height to be measured up to the animal’s shoulders. A Largo Chihuahua is the smallest in terms of length, at 6 inches.
A neighbor of Gomes, who lives in Okahumpka, abandoned a female Chihuahua a year ago. Emaciated and near death when found, the dog was pregnant.
"We rescued her, and two weeks later she gave birth," Gomes said.
The first puppy was a normal-sized female.
"But about two hours later came Dancer," Gomes said. "He was about a quarter the size of his sister. He was about as big as my thumb."
His sister was adopted, but Gomes kept Dancer and his mother.
Veterinarians suggested Dancer be euthanized because he was likely to have serious health issues as he grew older. Gomes didn’t expect the tiny dog to make it either, but she wanted to give him a chance
Cathy Griggs, Gomes’ friend, said she first saw Dancer at the half-year mark.
"If I hadn’t known better, I would have assumed he was a puppy," she said.
Those who know Dancer say he doesn’t have the typical Chihuahua personality.
"He’s a ham. He loves people," Gomes said.
She carries him wrapped in a small blanket or pushes him in a baby stroller. At home, he stays in a small playpen. He is always at risk from larger animals.
"His mother is the only one I let near him. She’s very protective," Gomes said.
He is so fragile, a fall from a chair or table could be fatal.
Dancer’s name was inspired by a popular Garth Brooks song.
Dancer eats every three or four hours because of his size. His only health problem is low blood sugar.
Gomes said a man in the veterinarian’s office offered her $5,000 for Dancer when he found out the dog was an adult.
Gomes refused: "No way. You don’t sell love."
Ramsey Campbell can be reached at rcampbell@orlandosentinel.com or 352-742-5923.
Ain’t it so cute. But I would watch out for the Palmetto Bugs, they are known to carry little children away. They are probably bigger than the little puppy.
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